


The Seven Times The Raven Queen Broke the Rules

by cornerandchair



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Don't let the Major Character Death deter you, F/F, F/M, M/M, i promise this is a cute fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 09:14:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10873734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cornerandchair/pseuds/cornerandchair
Summary: As The Goddess of the Dead and the keeper of their fate.Many would assume The Raven Queen to be a cold hearted Goddess.Yet, for but a few outlying souls she finds herself bending quite a few rules...





	1. Magnus Burnsides

The first of the IPRE members to finally visit The Raven Queen is Magnus.

Dear Magnus Burnsides, Taako’s best man at his wedding. It only seemed right Kravtiz be the one to collect him.  
The two greeted each other as friends in the Ethereal Plane as they meander their way to The Raven Queen’s palace.

Waiting in the center of the grand hall, in all of her dark finery, bangles jingling with her every graceful movement is The Raven Queen.

“Ah, How nice of you to join us, Magnus.” Her unnaturally beautiful features pull into a terrifying smile.

“Indeed.” A voice Magnus recognizes as Istus seems to emanate from everywhere around them. “I have been waiting for this moment.” She steps out from behind her fellow Goddess. She smiles at him. “Magnus, you have served me well in life-”

“But-,” He interrupts, ready to say he was only doing what felt right.

“Do not interrupt.” The Raven Queen waves her hand, silencing him on the spot.

“Sorry.”

Istus chuckles and smiles again. “Magnus, you served me well, and I reward those who serve me with faith.” She places a graceful hand on The Raven Queen’s shoulder. “I have spoken with The Raven Queen, she and I have come to an agreement.”

“Indeed. Though you have been a thorn in the side of one hundred Astral Planes and one hundred Gods and Goddesses of Death…” She laces one of her arms around Istus’s waist. “With the Grace of Istus behind you, I have deigned to give you a boon.”

She raises her hand, and points to a chamber in her palace.

Magnus looks at Kravitz, who smiles and ushers Magnus to go through the door.

He takes a deep breath and walks through the door.

The bell hanging over the entryway to The Hammer and Tongs rings.

And Magnus finds himself face to face with Julia and Steven in the middle of setting the table for a dinner.

“Magnus!” Steven greets him with the same enthusiastic and hearty voice he so clearly remembers.

And Julia… Beautiful, wonderful Julia… She runs over to him and hugs him tighter than he thought possible.

“I’ve missed you, Mags.”

In an instant he starts to cry. He hugs Julia back, pressing his face into her shoulder. “I-... I missed you too, Jules.”


	2. Captain Davenport

The next member of the IPRE is none other than Davenport. The only member that The Raven Queen knows little about.

The stout captain Davenport seems confused as Kravitz leads him into her palace.

“Ah, Captain Davenport. Or as Magnus calls you, Capti'nport.” She stands from her throne. “It is a pleasure to finally have the honor to meet you.” She extends her hand down to him.

Davenport gives her a firm handshake, befitting a captain. “Likewise.”

“Now, Captain.” The Raven Queen returns to her throne. “I’m not usually one to do this, but, while you were not in my service, I do recognize your achievements as a leader.” She smiles her terrifying smile. “I would like to offer you a position in my court.”

He raises an eyebrow. “What kind of position?”

“With your exemplary service, I was thinking you would fit best as the supervisor to my… My “reapers” I suppose you would call them. Kravitz would be your right hand man, and show you everything you need to know.”

Davenport lowers his head. He thinks about the offer.

A minute of silence passes.

He raises his head. “With all due respect, Raven Queen, I will have to refuse.” A small smile spreads across his aged features. “I think I’m finally tired of service, and I’d rather… not need to worry about men under my command.”

She doesn’t show it, but she’s a little disappointed. “Well, it’s your choice to make.” She raises her hand and gestures to a chamber of her palace. “You are welcome to stay.”

Davenport bows. “Thank you, Lady Raven Queen.” He turns and walks towards the room.

“Should you change your mind, the position remains open.” She calls after him with a smile.

“I will keep that in mind.” He enters the room.

The Raven Queen’s palace gains yet another boarder.


	3. Merle Highchurch

When Kravitz sends word that Merle- _fucking_ \- Hightower Highchurch has _finally_ kicked the bucket, The Raven Queen gives him clear instructions to make Merle wait until she returns.

Because for this… The Raven Queen needs to pay a visit to another member of the Pantheon.

She is not used to traveling much farther than Istus’s domain. So Pan’s domain is quite a large change. Larger than she is used to or comfortable with. But she has business with Pan.

Their conversation is short, but not civil. She has no patience for his silly tom foolery. She drags him back to her domain, and tosses him into her palace.

There Kravtiz, Istus, and Merle stare at her with wide, surprised eyes.

“Sorry, I did not expect this to take so long.” She pulls Pan to his feet. “Stand straight, you are a God, are you not?”

Pan shoots her a disgruntled look, but doesn’t say anything. He just ambles over to Istus’s side and stands.

“Now…” Istus looks between The Raven Queen and Pan. “I… believe we have business?”

“Uh-” Merle glances between the three deities. “What the fuck is going on?”

The Raven Queen sits upon her throne, her numerous new bangles made specifically for her chime like little bells with every step. “Merle Highchurch.” She addresses the dwarf. “I have something to offer you, should you choose to accept.”

“Okay…?”

“I wish for you to join my court, as a Spiritual Advisor to the other members of the Pantheon. I have gathered Istus and Pan here to give their blessing.”

Istus smiles down at Merle, “My blessing is given. May You serve The Raven Queen well, and in her service may you continue to be happy.”

Pan, however, still doesn’t say anything.

Both Goddesses turn to stare at Pan. He looks back at them.

“But this is against the-!”

A sudden light flashes in the palace, silencing Pan immediately.

“Pan.” The Raven Queen’s voice booms. “Your. Answer?”

Merle feels his soul wood arm writhe angrily. He knows Pan doesn’t want to. Merle sighs.

“I-”

That light flashes through the palace again.

“Fine! Fine.” Pan turns and looks down at Merle. “Merle Highchurch. You have served me well as a Cleric and priest. But… _IF_ you agree… I _suppose_ I will allow your service to pass to The Raven Queen. May you serve her well, blah blah, be happy.” He starts grumbling the rest of the sentence.

Merle purses his lips. “Well…” He glances at each of them, then at Kravitz, who offers a little awkward thumbs up.

“I accept!”

His soul wood arm lashes about in protest. It almost hits Merle in the face.

“That will be enough of that!” The Raven Queen voice booms, and the soul wood falls limp. “Childish temper tantrums are beneath you, Pan!”

Pan dramatically throws an arm over his face. “ _ **SCORNED! BETRAYED!**_ " He vanishes in a puff of smoke.

Istus just covers her eyes. “Always so dramatic…”

The Raven Queen sighs. “I’m sorry you had to see that, Merle.” She extends her hand and bequeaths to him a new holy symbol.

Or rather, and old but revitalized one.

“I hear you quite enjoyed this, so I gave it a little touch up.” She smiles. “Your room is also right over there.” She points to a chamber in her palace.

Merle lights up, “The X-TREME Teen Bible!” He grabs it. “Oh thank you, uh-... Lady Raven Queen! Thank you!” He goes happily to his room.

And again, The Raven Queen’s palace gains yet another boarder.


	4. Lucretia

The next IPRE member to grace her palace is Lucretia, the lonely journal keeper.

She stands before The Raven Queen, there’s a nervousness in her face. She does not know why she’s been called here. Or what lies in store for her.

“Lucretia…” The Raven Queen addresses her with a surprisingly gentle voice.

She looks up at the Goddess. “Yes?”

She stands from her throne and walks toward Lucretia, slowly shrinking to be exactly Lucretia’s height. “I know what you’ve done. And while you endangered all the Planes here… I hold you to no fault.”

Lucretia looks confused. “I’m… I’m sorry?”

The Raven Queen takes Lucretia’s hand. “Once I too was like you. I did whatever I thought necessary to ensure my future and the future of my kingdom.”

“I don’t… understand.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to understand.” She smiles, again, more kindly than one might assume. “You merely need to understand that I have a proposal for you, Lucretia, journal keeper, writer, and leader.”

Lucretia blushes and looks down at the stone floor.

She raises her head with a gentle hand. “I wish for you to continue writing. Write the lost stories of the dead. Be sure they are never lost. For with this you can start undoing the damage you have done by erasing so many.”

Tears start to stream down Lucretia’s face, she almost sobs.

“If you accept, I have your first assignment ready now.”

She nods, trying to regain her composure.

With the same gentleness she had been displaying since Lucretia arrived she pulls her forward, and places a kiss upon her forehead.

That kiss contained the knowledge of her story. Her True Name, her past, everything.

The Raven Queen steps back, slowly returning to her true stature. “If you would start with that story, and have it to me when it is done. You will be rewarded accordingly.”

Lucretia touches her forehead, the weight of what has been revealed to her slowly sinking in. She looks up at The Raven Queen. “I- Yes. Yes, I will.” She smiles for the first time since arriving. “Where… Where will I-?”

“There.” She points to a chamber in her palace. “It has everything you might need.”

Lucretia turns and begins walking, but before she can get to her chamber, the door to The Hammer and Tongs is thrown open.

“Lucretia! Hey! I’ve been waiting for you!” Magnus is waving her inside. “I’ve got something for you!”

She stops and looks back at The Raven Queen, who waves her off.

Lucretia smiles and walks over towards Magnus. “I’ve missed you, Magnus.”

“Me too! And you’ve _got_ to meet Julia! I’ve told her all about you, she’s so excited!”


	5. Taako

The next to arrive was Taako.

But The Raven Queen did not see Taako when he first arrived.

No, indeed.

But she definitely _heard_ him.

She is not of the easily embarrassed sort. But the noises Taako and _**Kravitz** , of all people_, were making could make even a God or Goddess of pure wanton sexuality blush.

She stands from her throne and walks over to Kravitz’s room. Her hand glows with the soft light of a spell as she casts Silence over it.

The Raven Queen waits patiently for one or both of them to exit their room, as it would be rude to interrupt them while they were clearly… having such an intimate moment.

It takes quite a while before either of them come out of the room. They come out together, dressed in each other’s clothes.

She can’t help but give them a sly smile.

Taako returns it in full, but Kravtiz just coughs out of embarrassment into his elbow.

Taako ambles up to her, “Uh… Hello again, Queenie.”

“Indeed, a pleasure to see you again, Taako.” She rests her arm on the armrest of her throne. “I hear you’re already enjoying your stay.”

Kravitz lets out a noise almost akin to that of a dying goblin.

“Yes, yes I am.” Taako lazily smiles back. “Let- Let me tell ya, if I knew I was going to get that kind of reception from my husband I would have died a lot sooner. And I mean _a lot_ sooner.” He waves his hand in the air. “But uh- On to a matter I want to ask you about.”

She sighs, “Taako Taaco… You and your sister are simply no end of trouble…”

“I know, I know.” He nods. “But listen. Hear me out here, you see, Kravvy and I sort of… Well we more or less adopted a boy back on Faerun. I mean, hopefully this won’t happen soon since Ango managed to outlive me, but uh… You think you could work your Goddess-y powers and pull the right strings to make sure he gets here?”

The Raven Queen laughs. “I see. Of course. I can do that for you, Taako. Consider it a belated wedding present from me.”

“Thanks, thanks, awesome. Love ya, Queenie.”

“Love you, too, Taako.”

He turns and starts to walks back over to Kravitz.

“Ah, Taako, Kravitz?” They look at her. “In uh… In about two minutes, do remember to recast Silence on your door. Or I will have to move you to a different part of the palace.”

That same lazy smile gets wider. “Of course, Right will do!”

Kravitz sputters and appears to almost be dying again as he walks back to his room, supported by his husband.


	6. Lup and Barry

The Raven Queen had continuously looked the other way when news reached her with news of Lup and Barry. She knows Barry is a litch and has far outlived his life as a human. But she still just turns her head.

She doesn’t really expect to ever see them in her domain.

She rests her chin in the palm of her hand, admiring yet another new bangle Magnus and Julia had given her.

And then her door is unceremoniously kicked in.

“What’s up, Queenie!” Lup shouts. She’s waving with a grin that The Raven Queen can see from her throne.

“Uh. Hello there.” Barry is at her side.

She shifts forward, a smile spreading across her own face. “Well hello there! I must say I’d almost given up on seeing either of you.”

The pair walk forward, Lup much more confident than Barry, it seems some things truly don’t change with time.

“Things got boring without the others around, so we figured, why not?” Lup stops in front of the Goddess.

Barry nods. “That and we’ve uh… Well we’ve both lived more than enough life times, so… We’re sorta… overdue for this.”

The Raven Queen leans forward, her eyes fixed on Barry.

“You, Barold J. Bluejeans.”

“Y- Yes?”

“I am not technically allowed to let you stay here, as a Litch your rightful place is in the Eternal Stockade.” She looks to Lup, “And you as well.”

Lup steps up, “Now hold on! We came willingly! That ought to count for _suhm-_ thing!”

She chuckles and holds up her hand. “Do not lose your temper yet, Lup Taaco. You see while I never expected to see you, as the ruler of this domain I do have a certain pull.” She raises a hand to her mouth.

“ _ **Kravitz!**_ ”

Her voice carries through the palace, and soon her loyal servant is at her side.

“Yes?”

“There you are.” She gestures to Barry and Lup, “I delegate the punishment of these two to you, Kravitz. I trust you will think of something fitting.”

Kravitz smiles. This isn’t the first time they’ve done something like this. “Of course, My Queen.” he walks over to Barry and Lup and embraces them both. Then steps back to clear his throat. “With your punishment left to me… I hereby decree that… You two must stay here, in The Raven Queen’s palace, with allowances for special occasions, for the rest of time.”

Barry and Lup look at each other, then at Kravtiz and The Raven Queen.

And then they _get it_.

And they laugh.

“Whooooo! I was worried there for a moment!” Lup is slapping her knee.

Kravitz grins, “Indeed. You see My Queen cannot play favorites so easily when it comes to punishments…”

“Right, right!” Barry nods at his Brother-in-law. “I get it. So uh… Where do we stay?”

Kravtiz turns back to The Raven Queen and she nods.

“Right this way.” He waves the couple over as he starts walking towards a chamber in the palace.

Finally, The Raven Queen’s palace has all of its boarders. And for the first time in eternity, it is filled with _life_.


	7. Kravitz

It is many years ago.  
Years before The Hunger, and Wonderland, and Refuge, and The Miller’s lab, and the races, and the Rockport limited, and Phandalin.  
In fact. It is years before the IPRE even show up on this Plane.

The Raven Queen sits in her palace, alone in its cold embrace.

Before her, held between two of her mindless guards, is the soul of a boy who had tried to escape the Astral Plane. The boy is in tears, blubbering absolute nonsense words that she couldn’t make out.

She sighs. “Boy. Stop crying and explain yourself. Starting with your name.”

The boy’s chest heaves. But he does calm down a little. “K- Keatz… My name is Keatz.”

Keatz, she thinks. This boy was a high elf by his looks, and so young. He wasn’t even out of his child stages.

“What’s your story, Keatz?” She doesn’t particularly _care_ for his story. She holds no remorse for the dead, as it is only their fate as living beings to die and come here.

“I… I was with my siblings… an’ I got real sick… Lydia and Edward… They did everyhin’ they could to save me…” He starts to cry again. “They… they called to me… an’ I tried to go to them…”

This is not the first time she’s had a soul plead their case in such away and she raises a hand to send the boy to the Eternal Stockade.

“ _Wait!_ ” Istus’s golden voice rings through her empty palace, and the Goddess of Fate appears before her, standing in front of the boy. “Please… wait.”

“Istus…” She lowers her hand. “What is this about?”

Istus strides forward. “Please… you must hear me out.” She places her hands on top of The Raven Queen’s hands. They’re warmer than her own, such as things tend to be with the Goddess of the Fate of the Living and the Goddess of the Fate of the Dead.

“Istus. You know the rules as well as I.” She stares into her eyes.

“I know. And I also know that you can and have bent the rules before.” Istus smiles, “Just hear me out.”

She sits back in her throne, defeated. “Fine. I will hear you out.”

“Thank you.” Istus glances back to the boy and the mindless guards. “If you would please take the boy to a room with a bed and see that he is taken care of until The Raven Queen and I are done talking.”

The guards comply, and lead Keatz into a chamber of the palace.

She sighs and looks back at her fellow Goddess. “I have seen the fate that awaits us.” She gently takes The Raven Queen’s hands in her own. “And I know what must be done. I _know_ it’s unorthodox and against the rules… But I implore you, do not send that boy to the stockade.”

The Raven Queen sighs again. “Then what would you have me do?”

“Take him under your wing. Make him your Raven Knight. A bounty hunter, _something_.” Istus gently presses their foreheads together. “I will repay you whatever you require if you do this one thing for me.”

The Raven Queen grins and lets go of Istus’s hands to wrap her arms around Istus’s waist. “Is that a promise?”

“But of course.” Istus grins back, “As long as you take care of the boy.”

“Let us seal the deal. A kiss, I think, shall do.”

Istus obliges with a chuckle and steps back. “Call your guards back.”

The Raven Queen whistles, and the boy is brought back before the two Goddesses. She stands from her throne and shrinks down to the size of a regular adult human. Then, she kneels before Keatz and looks into his eyes.

“A- Am I in trouble…?” His voice is soft, and his eyes are full of tears.

“No, my boy.” She glances back at Istus. “No, you’re not in trouble.” She employs a gentleness she has not used since she was once a mortal queen to lift the boy to his feet. She smoothes back his hair. “I… actually have an offer for you.”

Keatz sniffs. “Wh- What?”

“I want you… to become a knight for me. A… A bounty hunter of sorts. And if you agree I will not have you locked away in the stockade.”

The boy doesn’t seem to understand what exactly she’s talking about, but he does understand that this will get him out of trouble. “I- Yes! I’ll… I’ll do it! I’ll do anything!”

“Alright, Keatz, to fit your new life, you will need a new name.” She steps back and looks him over. “Hm…”

Istus steps up behind her and places a hand on her shoulder, “Kravitz, I think. It will suit him well.”

“But of course!” She claps, “Wonderful. Your new name is Kravitz. And you are my Raven Knight and bounty hunter of escaped souls and litches.”

Young Kravitz nods. “O- Okay! Uhm… How do I… How do I start?”

“Yes, that will be something won’t it…” The Raven Queen taps her cheek. “Well, you will have to live with me. And I suppose I shall train you until you are ready to venture on your own.” She smiles at him for the first time.

He blinks, and smiles back up at her. “I- Okay! I can do that! I’ll be the best bounty hunter knight ever!”

And that is how The Raven Queen’s palace gained its first boarder.


End file.
